Guy Complains About Gum Emails

GUY COMPLAINS

It would seem our last email ruffled some feathers.

An angry subscriber and member of the international digital cultural sensitivity task force unit (IDC-STFU) writes in:

“Why would you call an old Greek woman Babushka? Try harder.”

“Why would we not,” we reply.

“Are all the old women on Chios russian? "Yiayia" is the Greek equivalent.”

It was at this moment, a deep wave of profound understanding washed over us.

900 doves flew into a perfectly synchronized peace sign formation...

And golden rainbows descended from the heavens...

Illuminating the pure white clouds that morphed into the shape of David Guetta’s head saying “end racism now.”

It had all become clear. 

How DARE we use the boring, culturally-insensitive, totally-not-fun-to-say word ‘Babushka.’

(even though almost everyone we know in Greece affectionately calls them that when speaking English)

This is wrong and bad.

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:

We will be enforcing mandatory cultural sensitivity training for our employees.

Anyone using the B-word will be shot. 

That means YOU too, friend

Wait... 

You’re laughing? 

Some online reddit lieutenant complained about the word babushka and you’re LAUGHING?

Well, there’s only one thing left for you then...

LOOK BETTER
BREATHE BETTER
FEEL BETTER

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