Warner Bros. Discovery (WBD) clearly has Wile E. Coyote in its DNA: Its stock price fell off a cliff with a resounding kersplat yesterday, largely due to its struggles with legacy TV. Shares plummeted 12% intraday upon the news that the company registered an impairment charge of $9.1 billion in Q2.

Translation, please? The accounting move acknowledges that the market value of WBD’s traditional TV properties is significantly less than the books showed, hence the correction. The anticipated removal of NBA games from TNT, one of WBD’s networks, following the 2025 season likely contributed to the write-down of its linear TV assets.

Run it back: WBD CEO David Zaslav was the long-time CEO of Discovery who oversaw the merger with WarnerMedia and then took the lead of WBD. He hoped the merged company would allow both brands, heavily dependent on linear TV, to stick the landing into the streaming era. In theory, the combined content catalog would supercharge subscription numbers and save money through cost synergies.

But TV networks are stuck in a liminal space. They’re on the way down, but the ones people still reliably watch—such as cable news and pro sports—command large fees from providers like Comcast and Verizon. This disparity “makes them hard to do anything with, one way or another,” Business Insider said. Paramount, which owns CBS, MTV, and Nickelodeon, wrote down the value of its legacy TV assets by $6 billion this week.

Where does it go from here? One brave analyst said that WBD’s problems are “unlikely” to get worse. Zaslav thinks he can buy his way out of the problem by making further acquisitions, but only if the next US president cools it with the antitrust enforcement.—HVL

So a desperate father and an ex-con get thrown together in a heist. When it doesn’t go as planned, they team up with an unusual accomplice—the desperate father’s therapist—to outrun police, backward bureaucrats, and a vengeful crime boss.

That’s the story of Apple Original Films’ new action comedy The Instigators. Starring Academy Award winners Matt Damon and Casey Affleck, the movie is streaming on Apple TV+ starting today.

Start your Apple TV+ subscription to see where the story takes this motley crew. While you’re at it, you’ll gain access to star-studded Apple Originals, Friday night baseball, and more.

Watch The Instigators now on Apple TV+.

Eli Lilly’s weight loss drugs are selling like hotcakes. In Q2, the pharma giant sold $1.2 billion of Zepbound (vs. $900 million estimates) and $3.1 billion of Mounjaro (vs. $2.4 billion estimates). Largely due to its confidence in the two drugs, the company also hiked its full-year guidance, sending the stock soaring. The smash results came a day after Novo Nordisk said that sales of its GLP-1 drug, Wegovy, failed to meet expectations. One analyst suggested in a research note that Eli Lilly is “pulling ahead in the metabolic duopoly.” The two companies are still struggling to create enough supply to meet the pyretic demand for the weight loss treatments.

The debate is back on? In a statement, ABC said its September 10 presidential debate will go on as planned after Kamala Harris and Donald Trump both confirmed they’d attend. The debate, which was scheduled before Harris replaced President Joe Biden as the presumptive Democratic nominee, was put into question in recent weeks when Trump signaled he was backing out. But the former president announced at a news conference yesterday that he is once again open to participating in three debates, one each on Fox News, ABC, and NBC. According to most recent polls, Harris has erased the lead Trump had built over Biden.

FTX was ordered to pay $12.7 billion to customers. All customers will recoup their deposits that were locked when the crypto exchange went under in 2022, the Commodity Futures Trading Commission said on Thursday. FTX was able to guarantee the payments thanks to its bankruptcy liquidation, which it’s also used to reach settlements with regulators and former business partners of founder Sam Bankman-Fried, now serving 25 years for fraud. Some FTX customers reportedly feel stiffed, since their payouts are based on 2022 crypto prices.

It’s like no one even bothered to watch the latest Mission: Impossible movie. The AI weapons startup Anduril Industries, named after the sword used by The Lord of the Rings character Aragorn, is now worth $14 billion after a new funding round.

Founded by Palmer Luckey, the guy who also started the company that lets you virtually powerwash a digital driveway, Anduril’s goal is to disrupt defense giants with new technologies. The startup plans to use the $1.5 billion it raised in the latest funding round to build a manufacturing platform called Arsenal-1 that can churn out autonomous weapons systems much faster than is currently possible.

• Anduril won a contract this year with the US Air Force to create uncrewed fighter jet prototypes, beating out Lockheed Martin, Boeing, and Northrop Grumman.
• The startup is justifying its “hyper-scale” plans with its prediction that the US would run out of munitions in about eight days if it were to enter a global war, specifically against China. Some experts warn that the claim only serves to fan the flame of conflict.

What else can we do with artificial int—oh, more weapons. Microsoft and Palantir—another startup named after an object from LOTR—announced yesterday they are partnering to provide AI services to US defense and intelligence agencies.—MM

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Soon the only way you’re gonna be getting into Costco without a membership is through the vents: Card scanners are coming to all front entrances “over the coming months,” the retailer of everything in bulk announced this week in an escalation of its Netflix-like efforts to end membership-sharing.

The main change: Instead of showing your pass to a Costco employee (the ones TikTokers have made a trend of foiling), you’ll present your physical or digital membership card to a scanner. But robots aren’t taking jobs—there will still be someone at the door guiding the process.

Here’s why your days of borrowing mom’s card to grab a rotisserie chicken are numbered:

• The grocery warehouse makes most of its money from membership fees (they accounted for $4.6 billion in revenue last fiscal year).
• It started cracking down on card-sharing over a year ago after noticing more shoppers using memberships that didn’t belong to them, especially at self-checkout. Since then, Costco has tightened up its entrances and started requiring customers to show photo ID if their membership card doesn’t include a picture.

Memberships are also getting a price hike for the first time since 2017. On Sept. 1, the basic Gold Star tier will go from $60 to $65, and the Executive Membership will increase from $120 to $130.—ML

If your sales numbers would get laughed out of the Shark Tank room, it might be time to pivot. Between May and August, more Humane Ai Pins were returned than purchased, according to The Verge. Humane reportedly expected to ship 100,000 wearable devices in the first year, but the startup has only sold about 10% of that so far amid an onslaught of negative reviews, bringing in ~$9 million (Humane has raised $200 million from Silicon Valley big cheeses like Marc Benioff and Sam Altman). The company disputed The Verge’s reporting, but declined to provide financial data of its own. And for that reason, we’re out.

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